An oldie, but a goodie
I realized one of my better stories from the
Baltimore Sun is still available online. Woo! Read the story of a Maryland missionary and his adventures in Russia:
A Mission in Russia and at home. Let me know what you think!
"Is there anything wrong with pink?"
Here's an account of my first Muslim conversion class. This could be included in my final Master's Project, so comments and (constructive) criticism are greatly welcomed and appreciated:
Carissa Hanson has been called Nur since September when she converted to Islam. She chose the name because it means “the light,” and she hoped it would help her remember to smile. That usually works, but today she put her pet cat to sleep and can barely hold back the tears, let alone smile, whenever she talks about it.
So instead, before a weekly class for new Muslims and curious non-Muslims at the Islamic Cultural Center of New York, Hanson, 37, discussed her path to Islam. She was raised Lutheran, converted to Catholicism and then started attending classes here about a year ago with a Muslim friend. At her first class, a man took the shahadah, the declaration of faith to become a Muslim. Hanson repeated his words in her head that day, which included, “There is no God but Allah” and “Muhammad is the messenger.” She said the words just made sense.
“When you fall in love with something and you can’t get enough of it,” she said, “that’s how I feel about this class. That’s how I feel about Islam.”
As she spoke, the five empty seats around the wooden conference table in the drab and windowless classroom began to fill. Liz S., who converted to Islam two and a half years ago, entered along with Imam Shamsi Ali, the class’s instructor.
Hanson, who wore a pink sweater with little pink balls on the front, jeans, white New Balance sneakers, a knee-length black coat and a sheer pink head wrap with pink beads, turned to the imam and asked her first of many questions.
“Is there anything wrong with pink?”
The imam replied without looking up from his copy of the Daily News. “No, there is nothing wrong with it.”
While Islam is both a lifestyle and a religion, dictating the clothes and food of Muslims, Ali warned against following the cultural mores of the
Middle East instead of the teachings of the Koran. “People call me imam,” he said, “but I don’t have to dress like an Arab. I have my own taste.” With style much more American than Middle Eastern, Ali wore a black leather jacket and khakis and left his short, black hair uncovered.
The class itself consisted of Ali explaining sections of the Koran. But constant concerns, like what to do about anger and sadness (wash your hands and pray) and how to seek forgiveness from Allah (agree not to make the same mistake again), halt lessons and prompt lively discussion.
The conversation moved from topic to topic, this time landing on beauty and vanity. Another imam had told the women that Muslims should not wear makeup. Was this true?
“The point is appropriateness,” Ali said with a slight Indonesian accent.
Hanson worried about using makeup with pork in it. Pork is outlawed in Islam and urban legends about pork in makeup scare many women out of wearing makeup at all. Liz S., who wore deep red polish on her fingernails, piped up. “They don’t put pork in makeup,” she said. “That’s silly. Read the ingredients. It’s all stuff you can’t pronounce. It’s all synthetic.”
Hanson was shocked (she had thrown all her makeup away), but pleased. “So I can go back to my light brown lipstick?”
Ali reasoned, “Allah is beautiful and he loves beauty.”
These short, vague answers are common for Ali. His students view him as part teacher, part spiritual leader, part psychologist and part friend. Two students, before the class ended, asked to call the imam later that evening to discuss private concerns. Ali balances guidance and religion without being demanding or preachy.
The class ended with a discussion of life after death and the Muslim belief in paradise. “In paradise, when you have something to be enjoyed,” the imam said, “there is no limit.”
“Does that include pets?” asked Hanson, who is still grieving for her cat.
“If pets make you happy,” replied the imam, smiling, “Allah will give you pets.”
Haiku
My lovely, size 12 mother stood at the kitchen counter one evening, chatting with me. She’d spent the day at work on a full-fledged diet; a nonfat yogurt for a snack, a salad for dinner. Absorbed in our conversation about my latest boyfriend dilemma and completely devoid of anymore willpower, she feasted on forkfuls of the chocolate cake I’d baked earlier. She scolded our English bulldog who was jumping up on her legs, “Maggie, don’t ruin the only pants that fit me."
Metro Diary
Since the Times didn't want it, here's my own little Metropolitan Diary entry:
On an oppressive July afternoon in
Central Park, I zoomed past an older woman who was making a slow march to the benches so I could nab the closest seat. When she approached me, she said, “I knew you were going to sit there.” I sheepishly apologized and moved to the next bench over.
A few minutes later, the sun came through the trees shining its hot spotlight right on me. The older woman asked, “Would you like to sit in the shade?” and we shared her bench for the rest of the afternoon.
Who needs a brain when you have these?
So reads women's t-shirt by Abercrombie & Fitch. How charming. But how can we blame the store when women are actually buying these tees for $34.50 or whatever Abercrombie is charging for its misogyny advertisements these days?
Bob Herbert wrote a fabulous column "Why Aren't We Shocked?" in the Times last Sunday in response to the nation's apathy regarding school shootings that specifically targeted girls for sexual assault and death. The primary focus of all the news coverage was this rash of school shootings, not that the killers singled out young girls to fulfill their sick and murderous fantasies.
Herbert writes, "Imagine if a gunman had gone into a school, separated the kids up on the basis of race or religion, and then shot only the black kids. Or only the white kids. Or only the Jews." He calls the shootings hate crimes against women.
He goes on, "We have a problem. Staggering amounts of violence are unleashed on women every day, and there is no escaping the fact that in the most sensational stories, large segments of the population are titillated by that violence. We've been watching the sexualized image of the murdered 6-year-old JonBenet Ramsey for
10 years. JonBenet is dead. Her mother is dead. And we're still watching the video of this poor child prancing in lipstick and high heels.
"What have we learned since then? That there's big money to be made from thongs, spandex tops and sexy makeovers for little girls. In a misogynistic culture, it's never too early to drill into the minds of girls that what really matters is their appearance and their ability to please men sexually.
"A girl or woman is sexually assaulted every couple of minutes or so in the U.S. The number of seriously battered wives and girlfriends is far beyond the ability of any agency to count. We're all implicated in this carnage because the relentless violence against women and girls is linked at its core to the wider society's casual willingness to dehumanize women and girls, to see them first and foremost as sexual vessels, objects, and never, ever as the equals of men."
Truly, how can we ever hope to see a woman president in our lifetime? How could a society that fuels a $7-billion porn industry that shows real-life beatings and sexual assaults of women ever be led by the very object of its twisted degradation?
First photos!
Getting beneath the headscarf
I was standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom of my apartment just now, trying to figure out how to make the brown and green and tan style scarf I got on sale from Banana Republic into a headscarf.
I’m going tomorrow for the first time to a mosque. My Master’s Project topic has evolved into a study of women in New York who convert to Islam. Tomorrow, after I take a two-hour test at Columbia for a summer internship at the Associated Press, I’ll get on a bus, head over to the Upper East Side, and start my reporting.
But for now, back to the bathroom. It was so jarring to stare back at myself in the mirror and not see my hair. I looked so different, so hidden, so not me. And this is probably what - to a much higher degree - all the converts I meet must have felt during their conversion. Islam is not only a religion, but a lifestyle as well, which dictates dress and eating habits. So the thought of wearing the headscarf had me at first, I’ll admit, a little queasy. But with research I learned that women visitors to mosques are expected to wear the headscarf, not as a statement of belief in Islam, but a gesture of respect. And since I’ll be attending this class as an outsider (not only an outsider, but a journalist seeking sources and information) during the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, I'm going to be respectful.
I think to a lot of people in our post-Sept. 11 world, Islam is still something a little scary, and I want to help look beyond our stereotypes to find the everyday people that practice this religion. It is both frightening and exciting for me to jump into this world that I know nothing about and hopefully become something of an expert in it. And I think that combination of trepidation and enthusiasm is exemplified by this headscarf. I see it as both something impenetrable and unknown and something to be discovered and understood.
The light at the end of the subway station
So only days after my salty post about the nasty men of the NYC subway, I was watching The Today Show during my Tuesday morning get-ready ritual and they did a segment on
Hollaback NYC, a blog where women can post pics of the creeps on the subway that harrass them. Go girls!
Little moments of luck
This morning on the subway, just as the doors were closing, a man leapt onto the train. He just made it. He looked around, beaming, to see if anyone else had noticed his accomplishment. He was so happy, so unabashed in his glances, that it became embarrassing to look up. What if he caught my eye? I would be forced to acknowledge his feat, of course. Would I give a thumbs up? Would I be forced into high-five? I contemplated the possible outcomes, but once I left the subway, I forgot the moment completely.
Until tonight, when Andrew and I took the subway a few stops to the nearest Barnes & Noble. The same thing happened! A man hopped onto the train just as the doors shut behind him. He was so proud. For several seconds, he glanced around with a grin that said, "Did you see that? Wow! I'm awesome!" I hid my head so he couldn't see me laughing.
Upon further discussion with Andrew, he admitted to being a subway super hero once in awhile, too. I don't remember ever having done it, but this is probably because I have a distinct fear of getting squished in between the doors of the train, so if I hear those cautionary beeps, I don't risk it. But most New Yorkers, at some point, will just squeeze into the subway as the doors close.
So what is it about those little strokes of luck, however common they may be, that make us want to share them with someone else? Is it merely the need to show off? Or is it deeper than that? Maybe sometimes luck is so unexpected and lovely that we need to make contact with someone else just to make sure it was real.
And maybe next time I won't be too haughty to look up at the man who jumped into the train at that pivotal moment. Maybe next time, I'll even give a thumbs up.
Ms. Abortion
Thanks to Riggo for bringing this
article to my attention.
Ms. magazine, in an issue to be released on Tuesday, is going to publish a petition listing the names of women who have had abortions. The more than 5,000 women (including some famous names like Gloria Steinem and actress Kathy Najimy) signed a petition supporting abortion rights that will be sent to government leaders.
Ms. has always been known for its advocacy - its debut issue in 1972 featured a similar petition - but is this journalism? The editors at
Ms. are reporting facts, true, but they also clearly have an opinion on these facts. Also, they are not simply reporting the news here, but becoming news.
I'm sure there are some very strong opinions on this issue, not only whether there is a place for this kind of advocacy in print journalism publications, but also whether
Ms. should have printed such a list at all. Thoughts?
